The gospel of Jesus Christ

2 Corinthians 5:21
God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

31st August 2003 Conversion

Exactly 5 years ago today, after hearing Jaime preach a sermon on the Prodigal Son, I felt God calling me to be His daughter.

These last 5 years have been filled with such extremes (joy; despair; intimacy; loneliness; insecurity; love) that I barely know how to interpret my Christian life. But I have to ask myself, have I shed the old to embrace the new?

To quote Nouwen "Do I keep clutching my old ways of life with one hand, while with the other I beg people to help me change?"

To those who have grown accustom to my begging for help, I thank you for your love and support. I know that you are a wonderful gift from the Father.

More on 'The Prodigal Son'

'One of the greatest challenges of the spiritual life is to receive God's forgiveness. There is something in us humans that keeps us clinging to our sins and prevents us from letting God erase out past and offer us a completely new beginning. Sometimes it even seems as though I want to prove to God that my darkness is too great to overcome. While God wants to restore me to the fully dignity of sonship, I keep insisting that I will settle for being a hired servant. But do I truly want to be restored to the full responsibility of the son? Do I truly want to be so totally forgiven that a completely new way of living becomes possible? Do I trust myself and such a radical reclamation? Do I want to break away from by deep-rooted rebellion against God and surrender myself so absolutely to God's love that a new person can emerge? Receiving forgiveness requires a total willingness to let God be God and do all the healing, restoring and renewing.'

Henri Nouwen "The Return of the Progical Son"

The Return of the Prodigal Son

I am currently reading Henri Nouwen's 'The Return of the Prodigal Son'.

Through Nouwen's poignant treatment of the famous parable, I have been forced to confront what it means to let go of the old and let myself be held by a loving and forgiving God.

In my Father's arms...

"It is the place of light, the place of truth, the place of love. It is the place where I so much want to be, but am so fearful of being. It is the place where I will receive all that I desire, all that I ever hoped for, all that I will ever need, but it is also the place where I have to let go of all that I most want to hold on to. It is the place that confonts me with the fact that truly accepting love, forgiveness, and healing is often much harder than giving it. It is the place beyond earning, deserving, and rewarding. It is the place of surrender and complete trust"

God is holding on

Isaiah 49:16 See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me.

John 10: 27-28 My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand.

Liminal

Liminality (from the Latin word līmen, meaning "a threshold) is a psychological, neurological, or metaphysical subjective, conscious state of being on the "threshold" of or between two different existential planes. The liminal state is characterized by ambiguity, openness, and indeterminacy. One's sense of indentity dissolves to some extent, bringing about disorientation. Liminality is a period of transition where normal limits to thought, self-understanding, and behavior are relaxed - a situation which can lead to new perspectives.

Oh, to be loved and to belong...

"Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her. There I will give her back her vineyards and will the make the Valley of Achor a door of hope...I will show my love to the one I called 'Not my loved one'. I will say to those called 'Not my people' 'You are my people' and they will say 'You are my God'."

Hosea 2: 14 -15, 23