Tuesday 12 June 2007

The Upside to the Downside

Lately I have been thinking about the blessings which come from having a depressive illness. Three main spiritual blessings spring to mind:
1. Can those who have never experienced grief and despair, really know what happiness is? Do they long for the final coming of the kingdom with the same desperation and passion.
2. Can those 'happy shiny' Christians who have not dwelt in the depths of despair and may not felt the burden of their own sinfulness, fully appreciate the power of the cross and resurrection;
3. Can those who have praised God in good times, be aware of the depth of his mercy and grace in sustaining us in the dark times, when we doubt his very existence?

I would never wish ill-health on anyone. But I wonder, given the choice, would I now choose this path for myself. Probably not. In the depths of despair, when it seems God is absent, it is hard to trust that there is anything to be gained from the pain. But once the waters have subsided and dry land appears, I do not pray for healing. I believe God has much more to teach me and may reveal more of himself to me through my illness.

3 comments:

Laura T said...

I would add a 4th, that your witness teaches us so much. You are brave Jill, and impossibly strong. Hence a 5th, that God the rock shines so brightly from your life.

Jill said...

Whilst I appreciate your encouragement Laura, I am actually incredibly weak.
It is only by God's grace that I survive moment to moment. Only through Him am I able to do anything. Without Him I am truly nothing.

Jason Au said...

"'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me."

You kinda made me think of that.

NAVIGATING LIFE AS A CHRISTIAN WITH BIPOLAR AFFECTIVE DISORDER