I have been struggling once again, with the 'realities' of praying for healing. Some months ago I made the decision to stop praying for healing and instead to pray for God’s grace in submitting to His will (whatever that may be). But that’s proving to be hard. It's very hard.
I have been conflicted - should I return to praying for restoration and pray harder for God to heal me or should I just keep praying for the grace to go on day by day.
With thanks to Jason R. I have been looking at 2 passages: the persistent widow (Luke 18:1-8) and Paul's thorn (2 Corinthians 12).
I find it so weird that Paul only prayed 3 times for his thorn to be removed. Maybe being an apostle he received a special word from God, or maybe he was just able to 'get on with it'.
Anyway, with many tears, I will aim to follow Paul's lead and will continue to pray for the strength to get through each day and will pray that in some way through my brokenness, God's power will be shown.
2 comments:
Jill,
I accidentally stumbled across your blog while surfing on Byron's blog (we used to go to the same church). I'm saddened by your struggles with depression, yet I'm more than thrilled to see God working through you.
Like you, I also do not have answers as to why God doesn't heal our problems, especially problems such as depression, which can be such a hindrance towards ministry. For a while I lived with a couple of friends, while God acted supernaturally in healing one of them of his food allergies, he decided to leave the depression in the other until today.
Looking at the great Christians who have lived before us, many have suffered from chronic depression: Spurgeon, David Brainard, Wilberforce. I'll never forget the sermon that John Piper preached on the life of Spurgeon - once a depressed man came to Spurgeon after he had preached a sermon: "Pastor, I have never heard anyone preach like that before. You have empathised with the darkness that I've experienced so well, that it's almost like you've been walking alongside me all this time."
Jill, being a stranger. I don't wish to pretend that I know you well. But all I want to say is that God has worked through many of our adversities and I absolutely believe that you are glorifying God particularly through this pain. I hope and pray that he might help you to draw strength from Jesus, so that all might see that there is a mighty God behind a weak Jill, and so with the rest of us.
God bless!
Thanks for your encouragement Lawry, I appreciate it.
If I am in some way glorifying God through this suffering, then that would be an answer to prayer, in and of itself.
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